| Bill Clinton Drowning
One day there were these three boys walking down
the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: 'HELP! HELP!'When the boys got to the noise
they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill
Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, 'I want a boat.'The
second boy said 'I want a truck.' And the third boy said, 'I want three tombstones with
are names all on them.' Bill Clinton said, 'why is that son?' The little boy said,
'because when my Dad finds out that we saved you, he is going to kill us all!'
GORE AND ELVIS
What's the difference between Al Gore and Elvis?
Some say Elvis is Still Alive.
Smuggling
A man named Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle with two large bags over
his shoulders. The guard stops him and asks, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answers Juan to which the guard replies, "We'll just see about
that..." The guard takes the bags, rips them apart, empties them out and finds
nothing but sand. He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, but discovers that
it really is nothing but pure sand. Finally, the guard releases Juan, puts the sand into
new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same thing happens--Juan approaches the border on his bicycle with two
bags of sand. The guard asks him, "What have you got?" and Juan replies,
"Sand." Again the guard does a thorough examination and discovers that the bags
contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to Juan, who crosses the border.
This sequence is repeated every day for several months until finally the guard is sitting
in a Cantina in Mexico and Juan walks in.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard to Juan, "I know you're smuggling
something.....It's been driving me crazy. It's all I think about! I can't sleep. Just
between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
AOL CAR
1. The AOL car would have a TOP speed of 40 MPH yet have a 200
MPHspeedometer.
2. The AOL car would come equipped with a NEW and fantastic 8-Track tape
player.
3. The car would often refuse to start and owners would just expect this
and try again later.
4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to protect the driver from
seeing better cars.
5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year and claim it's the
NEW model.
6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would just "lock-up" for
no apparent reason.
7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but would have lots'a
pretty colors and lights.
8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have 5 extra seats
for family members.
9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue to make
payments for 6 months.
10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would take the car
off of them.
11. The AOL car would have an AOL Cell phone that can only place calls to
other AOL car cell phones.
12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners from driving
near other car dealerships.
13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.
14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples AOL cars
stall just for fun.
15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.
16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more and gave
worse mileage.
17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would wonder,
M/F/age?
18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry another
AOL car owner.
19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than they
really are.
20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel and AOL would claim no other
cars have them.
21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say, "Good-Bye."
Sardarji
Sardarji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a sec," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.
Chinese
Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are
Sikh?"
"Aah, Sardarji read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born
on the Earth now is a Chinese."
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