An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji  are called upon to test a lie detector.   The Englishman says :  "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".                              BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector.                                                                            "Ok", he says,  "10 bottles".                                                                                     And the   machine is silent.                                                                                     The American says: "I think I can eat 15  hamburgers".                                           BUZZZZZZ, goes   the  lie detector.                                                                         "Allright, 8 hamburgers".                                                                                         And the  machine's silent.                                                                                       The Sardarji says: "I think...",                                                                                 BUZZZZZZ goes the machine!

Politics

    After having resigned as the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to go modelling.        Once he enters the herd of buffaloes and resting hiselbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.    Next day the photo appears on the front page of a newspaper.   GUESS THE CAPTION            "Laloo, third from left"      

Smile please

   A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die?Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied,        "My wife's first husband."

Class Room

HAROLD   : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?                      TEACHER   : Of course not.                                                                                      HAROLD    : Good, because I didn't do my homework.         

TEACHER   : Why are you late?                                                                             WEBSTER    : Because of the sign.                                                                           TEACHER    : What sign?                                                                                                                       WEBSTER    : The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."That's what I did.          

TEACHER   : George, go to the map and find North America.                                   GEORGE      : Here it is                                                                                             TEACHER    : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?                                  CLASS        : George

TEACHER  : Willy, name one important thing we have today    that we didn't have                        ten years ago.                                                                                   WILLY        : Me    

SUBSTITUTE TEACHER : Are you chewing gum?                                                       BILLY                           : No, I'm Billy Anderson.                                                

TEACHER : Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?                                              TOMMY    : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

TEACHER  : I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.                                                 DON          : I hope you didn't either.

GARY       : I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.                                              TEACHER   : I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

MOTHER : Why did you get such a low mark on that test?                                       JUNIOR    : Because of absence.                                                                               MOTHER : You mean you were absent on the day of the test?                                  JUNIOR    : No, but the kid who sits next to me was. 

Telephone call to Hell

   In order to develop friendly relationship between the two countries, A.B.Vajpayee and Nawaz Sharif decided to visit each other's country regularly.   The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan. There Sharif showed  him  Pakistan's modern telecommunication systems.  It was  so   good that he made a call to Rajiv Gandhi in hell and talked to him for  5 minutes ! The bill for the call came to only Re.1. When Vajpayee came back, he also wanted India's telecommunication  systems to be at the best when Nawaz Sharif visited India. Suitable   arrangements   were made. Sharif came to India, visited the telecom  department and  talked to Zia-ul-Haq in hell for 5 minutes. But  this time  the bill  was   Rs. 500!  Sharif asked with a sarcastic smile - "Why are telephone calls  to   hell  so costly in    India ?"
    A High level diplomat gave a smiling reply - "From Pakistan   to hell,  it is a local call, Sir, while from India it is long  distance!".

Sardar jokes

     Two sardarjis walked toward each other on  a country road.  One carried a burlap bag over his  shoulder.  "Hey Bhai," first sardarji drawled,                            "what's in the bag?"                                                                                                "Chickens," was the reply.                                                                                      "If I guess how many, can I have one?"                                                                   "You can have both of them."                                                                                 "OK," first sardarji said. "Five."

     Our sardarji was filling up an  application form for a job.  He  promptly  filled   the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.   Then he came to the column  Salary   Expected :    He was not sure as to what to be filled  there. After much thought he   wrote   YES