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Santa and Banta Singh
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As
Banta singh stood beside the bed,santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned
frantically for something to write on.
Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of
strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the
note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket.
Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized
that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You
know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it,
but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."
He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
Suicidal Sardar
An American, an Italian and a Surd were doing construction work on
scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building...
They were eating lunch and the American said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get
corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."
The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more
time I'm going to jump off, too." The surd opened his lunch and said, "Paratha
and dhal again. If I get paratha and dhal one more time I'm jumping too."
Next day - The American opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his
death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too. The Surd opens his lunch,
sees paratha and dhal and jumps to his death also...
At the funeral.....
The American's wife is weeping...She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of
corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!
The Italian's wife also weeps and says " I could have given him pizza or lasagna! I
didn't realize he hated pasta so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the Surd's wife... "Hey, don't look at me," she
said, "He makes his own lunch!"
Taking over USA
Once there was a meeting of all the Surd
freedom fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab from India but how would we develop
it?" That was a difficult question indeed.
Suddenly Banta Singh replied, "No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us
and then we would be a state of USA and we'll automatically get developed."
All the surds became happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did not utter a
single word. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S
ALRIGHT BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA ?????"
Sardar in Texas
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when they finally
decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to the surd's window.
"Goodafternoon, sir."
"Good afternoon, any problems?"
"No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half an hour
now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single traffic violation, you have not
gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on
the road. Therefore, as a part of our new "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I
would like to present you with this check for $30,000.00."
The surd lets out a big sigh of relief:"Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my
driver's license."
Awkward silence, then the surd's wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't
listen to him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."
Surd's Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye,
didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"
At this time the surd's trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the border
yet?"
Illiterate sardar
Banta Singh went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked,
"Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be ," said Banta with joy,
"I have been illiterate for so long."
Sardar Pilots
Two Sardarjis (pilots) try to land an airplane in the states. They start descending and as
they touch the ground the pilot scream
"the runway is ending...".
The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air...
They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, the
pilot scream again
"Get the plane up, the runaway is ending...".
The second pilot swiftly gets the plane back up in the air... They make a big turn and
start descending again...
This goes on again and again...
During their eighth descent the pilot says :
"Look at those stupid Americans, they build this huge & expensive airport but
with such a short runaway.."
"I know" answers the second pilot, "But look how wide they made
it...."
The Wrong Number
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes
going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes.
"What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an
hour conversation on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh. |
